LITTLE RED

Little Red’s final heroic act
Was waiting in the path of a
Swerving drunk, barreling home
After last call

She put her bed out to him
Let his airbag caress
His cheek like a pillow
Tucking herself in
Folded in half between
His bumper and a lamp post

And that’s how Kelly
Found her noble and loyal
Steed slain and shattered in
The knight

Little Red, who carried
Us to all kinds of places
A beast I never learned
To tame, never mastering
The clutch

But Kelly could coax her gently
Through stalls and shudders
And knew every part of her
Could compensate for her weaknesses
And be as stubborn as she was

We wait for the insurance man
To perform the post-mortem
And cut us a check
For a machine whose worth
Could not be measured in dollars

And as her pieces are scavenged
Or recycled, her spirit spread
Through the aether of metal and bits
I shall remember

Dog hair clinging to the seats
The empty space where
A radio used to be and
Moving my legs when
It was time to change gears

A DAY IN THE LIFE

I stare into
   A cold digital abyss

Counting the hours
   Before the alarm

Buried under the weight
   Of the day yet to come

Fighting the clock for a
   Few precious moments

Of my own damn time
   Poured steaming into a

Mug of instant coffee
   Crystals dissolving the

Thick mud of my consciousness
   So I can sharpen the words

I’ve already poured out
   To be honed and ready

For the alter, an offering
   To strangers I know so well

Then it’s time to
   Put on the day’s tired clothes

And sculpt my hair from
   The faucet’s cold water

Throw food in my bag, banana
   Apple, peanut butter, ephemera

Nourishment to balance the
   Thousand or so calories

I’ll burn like paper
   In 10,000 steps all lit and fiery

I may even have a bite of breakfast
   To clean the foam of fluoride

Rush to my car
  Cruising 90 MPH at 4:30 AM

To arrive by 5:00 and
   Begin the day’s labor anew

I put in 11 hours
   4 times a week

Plus another 4 hours
   Depending on how broke

Or frisky I am
   The details are meaningless

I use my body and mind
   In equal measure

And I have a few comrades
   But that’s all I’ll say

At 4:30 the klaxon sounds
   It’s howl like

The trumpets that
    Fell Jericho’s walls

I drive to a podcast
   For the ½ hour journey home

A time of peace and solitude
   Before my key clicks the door

Then it’s “Dada home,”
   “Hi, Daddy,” “Hey, Johnny,”

I see the people
   I work so hard for

And keep working
   To finish the stove’s dinner

We eat together
   A four plate circus

Conquer Wordle next
  Our 6 year old types the letters

TV for the kids, phone scrolling for us
   You know, family time

Bedtime is 6:30 (hey, they
   Get up at 5:00)

Stories first, tales of peace
   Then the Sandman nurses them

At last our time
   To chill and actually

Be with each other
   To see ourselves with

Whole hearts for an entire
  Hour or so

I love us

A SONG FOR WINTER

Beneath the roots of the Yggdrasil tree
A chipmunk dreams of spring
But deaf to the chirps of the robin’s plea
Only the cold winds sing

Odin sleeps in a vast stone hall
And waits for the sun’s return
While shadows grow and black gloom falls
Slowly, the Earth does turn

On craggy peaks, frost giants tread
In the valley, dishes rattle
A mother mourns, her babe is dead
The sound of a silent rattle 

“Do not despair!” the faerie cry
“Warmth is on its way…”
They wipe the tears of the lady’s eye
And let her sleep the pain away

With berry red and holly green
Evil kept at bay
All through winter’s longest night
We shall wait the day

AURORA

My compatriots followed me
    Out of a wooden apartment door and a
Black iron gate that swung shut behind us
    Announcing our departure with an abrupt metallic
    Farewell

The movie theater was a dozen blocks North
    I couldn't resist walking them past the discarded
Syringe cast aside on our sidewalk
    It excited me to find concrete evidence

Justifying the reputation our neighborhood has earned
    One of junkies, hookers--people
 Considered disposable, leaving proof of themselves
    In what they disposed of so easily

Dordji & Kelly led once we got past  the
    Needle, and followed the cars rushing past us on
Aurora--Neon signs glimmered in the night like
    Sirens calling to the drivers, but my eyes dazzled too

How convenient for the junkies and the hookers
    To walk this broad boulevard, working
At once for life and death, making themselves
    Victims of their own crimes, neighbors unscathed

I can only afford to live in this neighborhood because
    Their dark habits resist the influx of moneyed denizens
I will enjoy neon signs, movie theaters, friends, comfort
    You don't destroy yourself on my behalf

    Thanks for letting me reap some reward
    Undisturbed 

FATHERHOOD IS

Fatherhood is a lot fucking more than I bargained for
Fatherhood is a brutal tag team match, a vicious game of hot potato
     that lasts at least 18 years, but more likely the rest of my life
Fatherhood is humbling, leaves me awed, makes me tremble
     at the strength and majesty of any human strong enough
     to be a single mother, single father, or wear the heavy
     mantle of primary caregiver, capital P, capital C

Fatherhood is the servant of Motherhood
     of toiling for money that becomes food, that becomes milk
     that becomes burbs, soiled diapers, round cheeks, smiles and moments of peace
Fatherhood is fumbling and clumsy, looking in my wife's eyes as I hold
     our daughter, jealous at the ease with which she can create those toothless smiles
Fatherhood takes the biological imperative that places the center of a man's
     universe inside of his pants, and transforms some of that energy into
     a sense of guardianship, love and gratitude for one's family
Fatherhood reveals the secret that the pussy and womb are
     infinitely stronger than a cock and balls ever could be

Fatherhood holds a baby when she is a newborn
     and is startled by the love that comes back from that child
     the bond and energy that is instinctual, that gives me strength
     to do whatever it takes to feed, clothe, shelter, play and love her back
Fatherhood is much simpler when I'm in a good place, when my
     heart leads me some place worth going, when I can follow
     my gut, shed distractions, and focus for a minute
Fatherhood is holding Gaia close to me in a
     navy blue wrap, walking beneath the shade of trees
     on Southern Parkway for my exercise, my sanity
     and so that she feels safe, not bored

Fatherhood is a stack of bills and calculations
     the claws of capitalism that rip me from m home so I
     can sweat for our bread, putting together sums that
     don't add up the way I need them to
Fatherhood is deciding how far I want to bend
     my conscience, which corporation I might
     suck it up and take it on the chin for just to pay my bills
Fatherhood is learning that a conscience is a privilege
     realizing it may only be a matter of choosing which
     machine to be a part of

Fatherhood is the blind optimism that I can
     craft a better beginning to her life than the
     one her mother and I had
Fatherhood reminds me that this world has always
     had its share of bad in it, from the top
     to the bottom, but that we can create our own
     pockets of warmth and love
Fatherhood is a job I do, a state of being I inhabit
     for my daughter, for my wife, and for myself
     so that in spite of the ugly cacophony
     at least a few more steady beats can pound out